8 oz. burger bar

   After the travesty that was Barton G. our next visit to Miami had to make up for it. We found a place that exceeded our expectations: 8 oz. burger bar. Located on the corner of Alton and 11th ST, the brainchild of Govind Armstrong is a clever response to the current economy. The most expensive burger on the menu is only $14. As nice an incentive as that was, we still had me make sure the food was great, so we decided to give it a shot.

   Armstrong began his culinary training at the age of 13 at Wolfgang Puck's Spago restaurant in West Hollywood. He is also the chef and co-owner of Table 8 Restaurants in Los Angeles and Miami and 8oz Burger in Los Angeles. He has appeared on the Bravo series Top Chef as a guest judge as well as a contestant on Iron Chef America.
   The first thing that struck us as we walked in was the size of the place. The restaurant and the bar area are very big. The ambiance is similar to that of a sports bar, they had four big plasma screens on the wall showing different games. The menu is also very impressive. The House Burgers included interesting choices such as a Wild Boar Burger ($13) with Honey Thyme Glaze, Roasted Mushrooms, charred Escarole and Humboldt Fog Cheese. Their house blend consists of Sirloin, Tri-Tip, Short Rib and Chuck cured in a Himalayan Salt-Tiled Locker. Their Special Creations ask that you make no substitutions, but our very friendly server Luis was glad to bend the rules for us. 

   We decided to start off like we usually do, with cocktails. Their drink menu was quite interesting, offering traditional cocktails, and more unusual libations. They have quite a large variety of draft beer, and they make cocktails out of them. I ordered a Mixed Berry Mojito ($11) and Evan had the Dr. Brown's IPA ($10) which consisted of dark beer, vanilla cognac and rootbeer liqueur. Both were very tasty. For an appetizer we wanted to have the Truffled  Potato Skins ($5) but Luis suggested we get the Mini Kobe Corndogs ($7) instead. We were glad we followed his advice. Out came a trio of plump mini corndogs with purple horseradish mustard for dipping. I freaked out a bit when I saw the three dogs on a stick, had a flashback of the flying Voodoo shrimp from the week before. So I decided to let Evan split the third one, for the sake of everyone's safety :o)

   For our main course I ordered the Smokehouse Burger ($12) which is an 8 oz. house blend patty, Applewood Smoked Bacon, aged Cheddar Cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and a smoky bbq sauce. Not being a fan of bbq sauce, I asked for no sauce and ordered a side of their Green Peppercorn Aioli ($0.50). This towering burger did not disappoint, it was juice and very tasty. The kitchen towel sized napkins came in handy for this task. Evan was feeling adventurous so he ordered the Bison Burger ($12) with Roasted Garlic Tomato, Fried Onions and Bacon Crumble Blue Cheese Dressing. He was quite happy with it. The burgers don't come with sides, so we ordered the Kennebec Fries ($4) to share, which weren't bad, but not the most memorable thing we had there. 

   Being completely stuffed and quite satisfied, there was no room for dessert, even though their adult Milk Shakes ($10) were rather tempting, with options such as Bailey's, Grand Marnier, Sambucca and Castries Peanut Liquor. Altogether the bill came to $64, not bad at all. If this isn't enough to send you racing down there to try this place check this out: they're open daily until 5am with Full Kitchen/Full Bar, and they offer $5 drinks (single liquor) from open to close!!! We will definitely be back :o)

Barton G.

Have you ever sat down in a restaurant all excited for a great dinner because you heard it is "the place to go" and it ends in calamity? Welcome to Barton G. in Miami. 

     First of all, parking was, oh wait, there was no parking. Valet was $12. So we walked back to the restaurant after parking a few blocks away. Its a very nice looking place and the patio outside was cool, but we chose to sit inside, due to the inclement weather. Barton G. is a trendy restaurant that serves modern American food and is known to be an over-the-top kind of place. For instance, their popcorn shrimp comes in a popcorn box, the chicken is served a in a big plastic chicken, and the lobster tarts are served in a toaster. 


     Our server was nice, he seemed to know the menu well and suggested we have a cocktail. You know our answer to that! Without missing a beat, Rene chose the "Sabrinatini" (Our signature martini. A refreshing martini with Belvedere Orange and Watermelon Pucker, adorned with a Nitro-Champagne Swizzle Stick and a Chocolate Chimp.) $20. It literally was served with a chocolate monkey hanging over the rim of the glass. I had the "Buddhalicious" (Wasabe Sake infused vodka, Pureed Lychees and a splash of Cranberry Juice. Served with a Nitrogenized Pop of Wasabe Sake infused vodka and Lychees.) $28. When he brought my martini out, it was served on a big plate with a Buddha sitting next to the glass. It took up half of the table. The "secret ingredient" they use for their martinis is liquid nitrogen chilled to -320 degrees Fahrenheit. All for show. They were okay, way over the top, and way over priced. I still can't believe I paid that much for a drink. We had to try it, but never again. 

     For our appetizer we tried the "Coconut Crusted Voodoo Shrimp" (Stuffed with Crabmeat and Japanese Seaweed Salad. Served over Smoking Brew with charred Pineapple Mango Chutney.) $25. Our server told us there would be three shrimp and asked if we wanted a fourth to make it even for us. We said that wouldn't be necessary. The shrimp were served on big skewers popping out of a glass that had dry ice in some water. Again, over-the-top. They were quite good and the third one we split, well, we were going to until Rene tried to pull the stick out of the shrimp. The stick stayed in his hand as the shrimp flew across our neighboring table and bounced to the floor. We both laughed and I hurried to kick it under the table before anyone saw. So much for the fourth shrimp.

     Rene's entree was "Courtney’s Seared Salmon" (Seared North Atlantic Filet of Salmon, Celery Root Puree, Artichoke, Pancetta, Roasted Cipollini Onions and Hazelnut Pesto.) $35. His fish wasn't very good. It was a decent sized filet served on an enormous plate. Very bland and uninteresting. I decided that the "Blue Ribbon Short Ribs" sounded good. (BBQ Beef Short Ribs, Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, Crispy Onion and Creamed Corn). $35. Holy massive feast! It was a colossal portion of beef that had very little to no flavor whatsoever. All I tasted was the barbeque sauce...like a barbeque sauce I would make! Absolute rubbish. The cole slaw wasn't as horrifying and the potato salad I think came from Costco. 

     When the server came to ask if we'd like dessert we said definitely not. The table across had ice cream served in about a forty-ounce martini glass. Probably $50. We just said we'd like the check. As he walked away, I saw him tilt his head awkwardly as he looked down, then he proceeded to bend over and popped back up with a Voodoo Shrimp! It was like a magic trick. Shit, he found it! I couldn't hold back and just laughed. 

     The check was presented in a clever card that read "The Damage" on the cover. The total check, including 20 percent tip, was about $180. After that incredibly expensive affair we decided to head back home to Fort Lauderdale where I immediately counted quarters to take to the bank the next morning. Barton G. is definitely not a place I can afford to go every day, especially when I can find a better meal for a quarter of the price. But, if you enjoy theater and show and over-the-top presentation, have at it! You wont see us there! 

SOLITA Las Olas

   Ok, so we decided to check out this new restaurant on the recommendation of some friends. The name SOLITA means "South of Little Italy". We actually saw it on our way to eat at another place (St. Tropez Bistro, review to come) and decided to give it a shot. We actually got "greeted" at the door by a very abrupt "What's up? You hungry?". lol. Red Flag...

   First off this guy had wore an untucked white shirt while all the other employees were wearing black, so we didn't even know he worked there and/or part owned the place. We got sat at a table for two, and he handed us two ridiculously heavy four page menus. Turns out (as he proudly demonstrated) one of the flaps had a built in flashlight which actually helped since it was pretty dark in there. Tacky, yet practical. The first thing we saw, was the two ladies at the next table were complaining about their food to the manager. He took both plates back to the kitchen, but they got up, threw down $40 bucks on the table and walked out. RED FLAG...

   Deciding to take one for the team, we stayed and ordered two glasses of wine, I had the Ravenwood Red Zinfandel ($10) and Evan went for the B. R. Cohn Cabernet ($12). We got our wine after about 7 min, and then another server brought out a basket of bread and said "I got butter, olive oil, balsamic... Whaddaya want?" R-E-D  F-L-A-G...
   After another 10 min we got our appetizer, a big bowl of "Wild Mushroom Risotto with  Truffle Escence" which was basically an $18 pile of gray mush. Totally overcooked, not a single mushroom in sight, and barely any mushroom flavor for that matter, and for some reason garnished with arugula (which totally overpowered the already bland dish). At least it was hot. lol. I'm glad we ate almost half of it because it took another 50 min (!!!) to get the entrees.

   During that long wait we got to suffer through a very clumsy attempt of DJ'ing, which included two songs getting cut off and jumping into the next, without even attempting to mix the two. And it was LOUD in there. We both bartend, so normally loud music is not a problem for us, but when the dining room is louder than the bar side, it's a bit off putting. And who the hell decided to turn on the disco lights on top of the diners???
   When we finally got the main course, the plates were HUGE! I had the Veal Sorrentino ($28), lightly breaded Veal topped with an excessive amount of fresh Mozzarella, roasted garlic and tomatoes, fried eggplant and parmesan, and Evan had the Double Thick Cut Pork Chop ($28). Both entrees were pretty good, but not worth the almost hour long wait. When I first ordered the Veal, our server said "As soon as I saw you I knew you were gonna get that. There's a touch of clairvoyance in my family". Did you also know it would take an hour to get it asshole?
   When we left, just being glad the whole experience was over, we noticed they had charged us for an $8 cocktail we didn't order on top of the $100 tab. Yet another little treat. All in all, the food was marginal at best, the ambiance was more suited to a nightclub than a dining destination, and we basically felt like we had just guest starred in an episode of the Jersey Shore. Kinda made me wanna punch a fat girl in the face :o) Definitely not worth repeating.

LOLA

When it comes to having a good time, we certainly can find the party and once again we found it! Rene drove us up to LOLA (Love Often, Laugh Alot) in Delray Beach a few nights ago to try this new restaurant for the first time. LOLA has a sister restaurant called YOLO (You Only Live Once) on Las Olas Blvd. in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. YOLO is a very nice space with a big fire pit outside and a connected lounge, which seemed pretty cool. We found LOLA to be very similar!

As we were singing and dancing loudly, we passed the restaurant and made a quick right turn into the next parking lot and realized Wow! They are busy! It was a Wednesday night around 9:30. Walking into the restaurant-ultra lounge we both gave quick look to each other with raised eyebrows. PARTY! Okay, seriously, it was like walking into a college kegger with loud music, a lot of dancing, and a lot of drinking. BUT...it was not the college scene. Oh no, this particular party was a cougar party. Short description: older ladies, wigs, plastic surgery, breast implants...all dolled up dancing and carrying on with their younger men.

So we were seated and we ordered two caipirinhas, which were decent. We decided we wanted to just try a few appetizers and people watch. We started with the Lobster and Manchego Croquets (lemon chive aioli) and Beef Carpaccio (peppercorn encrusted prime tenderloin, arugula, shaved parmesan and white truffle oil). The croquets we weren't so thrilled about. They were like mozzarella sticks from the bowling alley. Where the hell was the lobster? The beef carpaccio wasn't so bad, a little bland maybe, but definitely needed some salt. So the caipirinhas went down and order of martinis came out. The martinis were good and strong!! Next were the Ahi Tuna Tartar (ahi tuna, sesame seeds, sesame oil, with wasabi cream hot chili paste, taro root chips) and Crispy Calamari (san marzano tomato pan sauce, dijon remoulade). So we placed that order keeping our eyes on the DJ and the crowd all the while counting purple wigs. I think I counted five or six, but that martini had me seeing double. The tuna tartar was yummy, seemed to be fresh, but the chips were stale. The calamari was good as well with a nice dijon sauce. With our bellies full we decided to just sit a minute and enjoy our first time at LOLA. That is when this idea of creating this blog happened! We just had to tell people about this "cougar town" kind of party and how much fun they seemed to be having.

I would definitely go back to LOLA and enjoy the ambiance they provide and try some other food items on the menu. We had fun, we didn't spend too much money and of course, it was a party.

And the adventure begins...now.

Hey everyone! This is Evan! Rene is busy putting together our first review, so you will hear from him soon! We are going to feature a ton of restaurants...be hungry! We usually hit two restaurants a week. It just so happens that we cook a lot at home too. If The Chef is nice enough, maybe he'll post a recipe or two from some of the dinner parties we have hosted. AWESOME dishes. I try to help him as much as I can when we're in the kitchen, I've learned to enjoy it more than I thought I would...even if I'm just chopping, dicing, mincing, or boiling water. I usually end up pouring cocktails after I bandage my fingers together again. Keep your eyes open! Much more to come!